In the book 1984, news articles, entire books, and generally anything recorded was rewritten by employees of the state to support the current, official stances of Big Brother. Then the previous, newly-heretical versions of those written-down things were thrown down the ‘memory hole’, a handy, desktop portal that led straight to the incinerator.
I want one of these.
My first nominee for the Memory Hole Awards? Rain Man – hands freakin’ down.
Why am I all in a wad about this now? Over the weekend, I saw parts of CSI: Whatever (probably like CSI: Sheboygan), Num83r$ (or whatever it’s called), and some other show fragment with a name that I can’t remember any part of. I could just refer to them as “Implausible, Unoriginal, Late-Night Crap”. It would be simpler. But there’s a point to this:
ALL OF THEM REVOLVED AROUND AUTISTIC PEOPLE DOING – YOU KNOW – AUTISTIC-Y-ISH-LIKE SORTS OF THINGS!? IN THE SAME WEEKEND!?
On I think it was Numb3rs, the character might very well be Dustin Hoffman’s evil genetic clone. I could be off on these specifics because I was too busy throwing crap at the TV to get all the details straight, but the character was such a terrible stereotype of an autistic adult that the exact details are almost irrelevant. He did things like hoard thousands of cubic feet of magazines, memorize every living or dead person with Emerson in their name, only eat when there were like seven crackers and seven martini olives on his plate, his evil relative took him to Vegas to count cards, he basically read barcodes just by looking at them or whatever, and – here’s the absolute worst part – spoke with the exact rhythms, inflections, and just about the same exact wording as Dustin Hoffman in that God-forsaken movie.
A while back I saw a show about the “Real Rain Man” (I think it really was called that). By the way, his name is Kim Peek, who interestingly enough, apparently isn’t autistic. But anyway, dear God that man – you know, a REAL PERSON – is infinitely more interesting than Hoffman or that movie.
I’m sure there was more to that Numb-erz episode, but I gave up in a furor. I have no idea how the episode ended. I’m hoping he slapped barcodes on all the main characters’ asses and had them shipped to Uranus.
Hey, here’s a fresh idea for TV show creators! Go meet some real autistic people and write about them! Amazingly enough, real people occasionally have much greater depth than these ripped-off, recycled, and completely bullchip stereotypes. Go sit down and learn from them!
And by the way, the first person who says, “Oh, like Rain Man!” to me in reference to my child or anyone else’s will lose all the necessary body parts needed for disseminating their genetic code, which will thereby save future generations from their offspring. Consider that fair warning.