So often we think we need to do things a certain way to measure up to some standard we believe the world has for us. We feel the eyes on us when we’re out in public.
We hear the words about how we and our children get more benefits than we ‘deserve’ through special education and government assistance, such as those are. Yet we know there is so much we must do to keep those meager benefits from being taken away.
And we sense the judgments within our own families about our parenting skills and practices.
It’s easy to give power to those voices and opinions. But they don’t have authority over us as parents. We have the power to direct our own lives. We have the power to say, “I have permission to…” for a lot of things.
Here are some.
I have permission to:
- Not be perfect.
- Say no.
- Screw up everything today and start again tomorrow.
- Stop feeling guilty.
- Not explain myself to anyone.
- Ask for help.
- Say it’s not my fault.
- Turn down requests.
- Cry when I need to.
- Be scared.
- Take several consecutive minutes to do something to take care of myself.
- Go to the bathroom by myself.
- Use TV or whatever to calm my child while I do something to stay sane.
- Not worry about the future right now.
- Take respite time when I’m offered it and ask someone to give it to me.
- Read something that’s not about autism.
- Not give a damn about autism today.
- Seek counseling or support for myself.
- Spend a little money on myself.
- Tell people staring at us in stores to go to hell.
- Ignore advice.
- Ask for an appropriate education for my child and never take ‘no’ for an answer.
- Reach out to other parents and ask for help.
- Reach out to anyone and ask for help.
- Not take crap from anyone.
- Do nothing whatsoever right now if that’s what I need.
- Ignore every standard in the world that anyone tries to impose on my child or me.
- Fight for a world that accepts my child for who they are.
- Put that off until tomorrow.
- Be who I am, without apology.